Sunday, February 24, 2013

Pictures on the wall

I have printed out hundreds of pictures for baby girls birth family.  I had a frame made for her birth brother with is favorite toy story character.  I bought a flip frame for her birth sister.  I have sent them wallet size photos and photos to hang.  I have kept a few pictures for us but they all remain in envelopes.  The only picture I have gotten around to framing was her "school" picture which we had framed for grandparents, aunts and uncles at Christmas.

When I printed her Adoption Story I also had some pictures enlarged for hanging in her room.  I printed a picture w her birthmother, birthgrandmother (holding her), and myself.  I printed a picture of her and her birthmother.  I printed the first picture of us as a family (the first time we held her).  I printed the best picture of I have of her birthfather holding her (its a picture of her and his nose).  I printed out the picture of her and her birth siblings as poor quality as it is- its the only picture of the three of them.  I also printed out my favorite picture of her.

I had some reservations about hanging these pictures which is probably why I have hung not a single picture- not one with the three of us nor any of the pictures of her birthfamily.  Sometimes I feel like people want to see pictures of her birthfamily as more of a freak show then truly wanting to see pictures of the family that loves her.  I'm very protective of her birth family and in a way I've kept their images away because I want to protect them from those that just want to gawk and those who truly want to understand her adoption.  I also knew that once I shared the pictures I could not "un-share them."

I'm cautious about sharing her birth story so that she can learn it from me as well as decide who to share it with.  I had some feelings that sharing her picture was sharing part of her story.  After a lot of thought I realized that everyone knows she has birth parents and by not showing their faces I think it comes off more as I am ashamed of them - which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Now that baby girl is a year old I think most people have settled into the idea that this so called birth family isn't going anywhere.  If anything I think we have increased contact.  Baby girl also is starting to recognize people/animals in pictures (mostly the dog).  I want her to know that her birth family is part of who she is.  So I'm hanging the pictures.  I think enough time has passed that those that just want to gawk have lost interest and those that truly love her have remained.

So all six pictures of the many combinations of family she has will be hung on her wall.  We can review their names and stories so when we see them in April she will be familiar.  They will kindly look down on us as we rock thru her bedtime routine.

*I found the most perfect frame it holds the picture of the three of us, the picture of her alone and the picture of her w D.  It has three pannels that read "Home Home is where your story beings."  "Family Family is key to true happiness" and "Love Love is Lifes Greatest Blessing"  Her story didn't start at home but the other two were perfect.  On the one w her birth sibilings I plan to write on the frame a quote that her birth sister photo shopped onto a picture of the two of them and then posted onto our shutterfly account.  The quote is "If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together... There is something you must always remember.  You are braver then you believe, stronger then you seem, and smarter then you think.  Bust the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you" (my sister)

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