Tonight at dinner it was just Baby Girl and Me. She out of the blue asked me "Where is J?" "Who is J?" I asked making sure I was thinking of the same J she was. "My PA Dad." We have always referred to him as "Birthdad J" "Birthdad" I was surprised she had been able to take where she was born PA and add Dad. I told her he lived in PA. When I told DH about the conversation he told me I should have said "I don't know." Honestly that is the truth. I gather though that he has rarely if ever left PA, but since I have not heard from him since she was 30 days old. I really dont know.
Baby Girl the last few days has asked about my "other mother" and made some other comment about having two Moms. Things are clicking in that little head of hers. I don't know how much she really understands and how much she is just repeating things she has heard. I have never referred to D as "her other mother." I am strict with myself on my words I use so that I model positive adoption language. It makes me wonder if she is starting to pick up on conversations others have with me or if she is putting her own words to what she understands. Time will tell.
Today at the doctors I was asked if she had any siblings. Her birthbrothers medical history is pertinent to this doctor since he also has had similar issues. (yeah open adoption!) I said yes she had birth siblings. I got a blank look. "Yes." I repeated. "She has a birth brother and birth sister. Her birthbrother has the same condition she does." The women then went on to talk about her family and how she has nieces and nephews that are adopted and all have the same birthmother but different birthfathers. *eye roll* I wish people would realize I don't bring it up unless I think it provides beneficial information. Not because I'm ashamed of her adoption or her birthfamily but because I never know the conversation it will start in front of Baby Girl. Sometimes I think I should just say that I have a 21 year old daughter and an 11 year old son in addition to Baby Girl (which would have made me 12 and 22 when I had them) because I honestly think it would be easier sometimes.
Baby Girls current suggestions for Baby names:
keckle (sounds like freckle with a K)
March (as in the month not the command)
David (for a boy or girl)