Sunday, December 29, 2013


I'm OK with Baby Girl not looking like me.  Lets start with that.  She is beautiful.  Big blue eyes, A little elf nose, long blond hair thats getting darker by the day, a small petite frame, and a big personality.   I'm told most often that she looks like DH.  I never could even fathom this until I saw a picture of him at about her same age now.  They had the same nose and facial structure.  DH and J look like they could maybe cousins.  It was one photograph from one awkward angle that I was able to briefly see where people got this idea from.

People see what they want to see.  You take a caucasian girl with similar complexion and hair color and people see family.   I am not bothered typically when people say we look a like or she looks like so and so.  Sometimes I think people say it because they see it and other times because they want to see it.  I typically end the conversation by acknowledging their observation but telling them I dont see it.  I'll comment to the fact that she has similar European heritage to us and that would most likely explain any vague resemblance.  As well as mannerisms... Oh and does she have my mannerisms!

Tonight while flipping thru Christmas pictures on facebook I saw myself.  No on my wall.  It wasn't a picture of Baby Girl.  It was a picture of my cousins daughter.  It was me 25 years ago.  I saw myself looking back at me.  I'll never get that with my own little girl.

I think what is hardest for me isn't the idea that Baby Girl will never look like me but no child of mine will look like me (which could be a good thing).  We grow up playing house, dreaming of our future lives and our children.  Those children looked like me, my child doesn't.  Just when I think I've grieved it and I'm over it I'm challenged by this picture of another little girls blue eyes gazing out of the computer at me.

I'm curious as to Baby Girls perspective on this as she grows.  Will she want to look like us?  Will she prefer to look like her birth family?  (which she clearly does!)  Will she be upset when people try to see us in her?  Although I dont wish her to grow up too quickly I do look forward to these conversations where I can find out what she thinks of all of this.

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