Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Nature or nurture

We were out to breakfast with my Aunt from out of town and a friend of hers.  Baby Girl was running around the table from person to person.  She was being good but her typical strong willed opinionated self.  She wasn't being rude and for a 2 year old she was "perfect" for a meal out.  My aunts friend commented on how vivacious and smart Baby Girl was.  My aunt proudly told her friend that "She gets that from her Mama- you should have seen her when she was a girl."  My aunt continued on to say that I was clearly destined to be a mother and this little girl was my match.  She then said "Baby Girl is adopted."  "Ohhhh?" said her friend.  "Well then it doesn't come from her mama."  The two of them started bickering over nature vs. nurture and I quietly sat and observed while keeping my eye on my vivacious and smart 2 year old.  Her friend finally turned to me and said "Well what do you think?"  I then responded that I think Baby Girls Birthmom and I have a lot in common personality wise.  I also think that how I parent translates into my childs personality.  I let her learn, explore and make choices within the limits I set.  I can't claim any trait of Baby Girl as "mine" nor do I think D can.  Baby Girl is her own person and clearly her environment as well as her biology plays a role but fundamentally she is Baby Girl.  At which point a small hand grabbed mine.  Baby Girl looked squarely at my aunts friend and firmly said "MY Mama." and then proceeded to crawl into my lap to cuddle.

Baby Girl gets it.

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