Sunday, September 22, 2013

Not Missing Anything

DH and I are planning this time to actually do some of the things we "missed out on" during our first adoption.  There are a few things I regret 1) not sharing the news as news and 2) not getting newborn pictures.

If you read adoption blogs or Adoptive Parents forums people will warn you about sharing your big news.  Our agency also suggested we keep the news to close family and friends.  The suggestion is made because people will offer you advice, warn you about adoption, and continuously ask you if you have heard anything yet.  I regret not making a formal we are excited about our big news announcement because I think it made it into a secret.  I think people were afraid to talk to us about it and it was taboo.  I did get advice but so do pregnant women.  News spread but because we didn't announce it we didn't really know who knew.  I had one co-worker who talked to me about it regularly once she found out.  I learned later that another co-worker pulled her aside and told her that it might make me uncomfortable to talk about it.  So this time- no secrets we are making a big announcement that Baby Girl is waiting on a promotion!

I also regret not getting newborn pictures.    While we were in the hospital there was a company that came in that offered pictures and I did decline that; which I dont regret.  I didn't want photos of her with wires hanging off of her.  I didn't want a picture of a "sick" baby because she never was sick; she was one strong girl.  When we got home the roller coaster of waiting for the TPR to finalize made my heart cautious.  I now realize that had D and J changed their minds and the courts did remove Baby Girl I still would have wanted to have forever remembered her because within hours of meeting her I loved her.  No matter what happened I always would love her.  So next time I'm doing pictures no matter what.

Home Study Check List:
Review original home study
Home Visit
Physician Report- Me
Physician Report- DH
Finger Prints- Me
Finger Prints- DH
Birth Certificate Copy Me
Birth Certificate Copy DH
Marriage License
Profile Book
Letters of recommendation requested

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