Our home visit was on Wednesday November 27 at 3:30 PM. I cleaned the house like my In-laws were coming (because they were). It was spotless. The social worker never went past the living room couch. I guess because its an updated she didn't need to do a home tour since no major construction had occurred since the last update.... how does she know?
Baby Girl played with her blocks, ran around the house and decided to poop on her toilet in the living room during the home visit- yeah!!! Over all she was very good used her please and thank yous. Didn't say hello but did say good bye. Our interview was mainly about our parenting style and how it has changed since we wrote our "parenting style" down on our original home study. It actually wasn't too far off. We planned to use warnings, natural consequences and time outs all of which we do. I'm trained in behavior management so the poor girl doesn't get away with much. I try to give her choices when I can like (do I put on your pants/underwear or will you). I let her take off her hat and mittens when its cold outside because - she asks for them back on quick (usually).
We did learn that they are establishing a new relationship with an agency that is out of state but is in the same state as my in-laws. I dont know if we will go forward with allowing our profile to be shown there. If its the agency I think it is I am happy with their website. They have pre/post counseling. There is 8 hours of mandated education for adoptive parents which I also like. Depending on their fee scale we may or may not open ourselves up to them.
On Monday we sent out announcement cards to our family that would not be at our house on Thanksgiving. The announcement had two pictures. One of the three of us. DH and I are standing between her and lifting her up by her arms. She is grinning ear to ear. I have binoculars on and it reads "The Royal (Our Last Name) Baby Watch" The next picture is just of Baby Girl who is blowing bubbles and laughing. Her shirt reads "Waiting for My Promotion to BIG SISTER!"
Soon after the social worker left I got a text from my sister in law saying "We got a letter that says we need to talk to you before we open it. Is now a good time?" I called her and put her on speaker phone. I told her she could open it. It was quiet for a moment then she screamed. They congratulated us about the news. Given the recent tension between them and us it was nice to have something break the ice again.
When my sister arrived I handed her our announcement card. My little sister didn't get it at first and then she read it again. She got it! She was excited. (She did comment on the first thing she noticed when she walked into our house was how spotless it was)
My In-laws we waited until Baby Girl woke up from her nap Thanksgiving day before we gave them their cards. My MIL took a moment to read it and gave me a big hug. My FIL was happy as well but didn't really get to read the car until the next day since Baby Girl kept taking it from him. It was nice to see them happy this time. Last time we told them we were adopting they wanted to know why we were not doing fertility treatments. This time they were just happy. After they were excited I felt the need to clarify- we are adopting. Just in case they didn't catch the "waiting" hint. I'm sure they knew but I felt like I needed to be sure they knew we were adopting and I wasn't pregnant.
My parents didn't get their letter until Friday. My MIL and I were the only ones home at the time but I let them open it anyway. My mom went wild. I am not sure if she went extra over the top since my MIL was on speaker phone with me or if she just really was that excited. They offered us (what we were going to ask of them) a modified loan. Last time we waited my parents sent us three or four checks I dont remember how many. The total of the checks plus what was in our savings account totaled what we needed to adopt. As we saved more money we sent the uncashed checks back to them voided out. In the end we sent all the checks back before we got the call.
My older sister I didn't talk to until today. She was the least overwhelmed. I love her but she is practical. I know she loves Baby Girl and when we finally get around to putting together our wills she has agreed to be Baby Girls legal guardian if that ever needs to happen. I told her that #2 would mean she would get two instead of one if something happened to us- she told us she hoped to never parent them but would if needed. I'm also sure she is thinking what a poor financial decision having #2 is, however having children never is a sound financial decision.
So there you have it... everyone in our immediate family knows and they are excited (in their own way). No negativity this time around- YEAH!!
I asked my in-laws to tell their siblings and my parents will tell theirs. My aunt who lives two doors down might be hurt to find out with her other siblings but I also feel like sometimes despite my parents living far away they deserve to be grandparents. Once aunts/uncles/cousins know I'll post the pictures from our announcement on our FB pages as well as a card at work and the news will be spread! This time around it doesn't feel like such a weight as it did last time. Last time not only were we dealing with them "Oh Dear GOD we are going to be PARENTS" but also the "How do we deal with adoption" questions.
Penny pinch penny pinch penny pinch- we will be just fine :)